dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
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