Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Randomize
