Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
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