Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
where does the pee come out of this thing
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
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