This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
