well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Randomize
