Can i not drive my cunt home
I am in a vortex of obligation.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Randomize
