That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Randomize
