Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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