I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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