So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
it was like eating out sand paper
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
he just fucked me for my cheese.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Randomize
