I want to walk on stilts...naked
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
