Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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