Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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