so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
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