We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
