so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Randomize
