who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize