So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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