Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?