Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.