I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.