The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
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I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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