As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
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You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
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be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.