sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
