he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
