It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
