She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
