I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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