The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
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