i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Randomize
