That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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