I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Randomize
