Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
