you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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