He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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