i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
they're like a gay fantastic four
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
