Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Randomize
