i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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