Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
