anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
