I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
