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fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
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