Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
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