he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
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