i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
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