Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
