we're chasing vodka with high fives
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
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