HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
