i don't plan on having that self control this summer
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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