i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
