Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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