You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Drunk is not a location!
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
