i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
