exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
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