Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
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