this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
