Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
