my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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