I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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