maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
